I sit here and think about something that I did last night and how I am at times I am the most native man that ever lived. I am so self centered that I at times I do not even consider that life is not just what I make it but it is what the whole of everything accumulates to, the grand sum of all things compiled.
I hurt you I saw it for the very first time in 18 years last night. I was also more open to you last night than I have ever been. You have manged to crush and destroy every wall I had to protect myself. It took a long time (18 years) to completely bring me to an open arms point of view. I am sorry and I will start from today forward to be a better man. You made me want to be the man I used to be. And that has not happened in the longest time. I can illusion so much, I have a enormous ability to love and also to fool myself. I have no illusions about what I am and I can be to you so I am not fooling myself at all. But still I want to be good at what I am.
Here's to the most wonderful friendship I have ever had!
And now 6 months later I know that You are strong and can handle life. You never had it easy and I truly know how it feels to have one child and you to provide everything for! all alone!
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Saturday, April 7, 2012
I really like this!
Sonnet 43 - How do I love thee? Let me count the ways by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,—I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!—and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,—I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!—and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
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