I sit here and think about something that I did last night and how I am at times I am the most native man that ever lived. I am so self centered that I at times I do not even consider that life is not just what I make it but it is what the whole of everything accumulates to, the grand sum of all things compiled.
I hurt you I saw it for the very first time in 18 years last night. I was also more open to you last night than I have ever been. You have manged to crush and destroy every wall I had to protect myself. It took a long time (18 years) to completely bring me to an open arms point of view. I am sorry and I will start from today forward to be a better man. You made me want to be the man I used to be. And that has not happened in the longest time. I can illusion so much, I have a enormous ability to love and also to fool myself. I have no illusions about what I am and I can be to you so I am not fooling myself at all. But still I want to be good at what I am.
Here's to the most wonderful friendship I have ever had!
And now 6 months later I know that You are strong and can handle life. You never had it easy and I truly know how it feels to have one child and you to provide everything for! all alone!
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