Rant on living today

 I guess there comes A time when we grow old and chances are not worth taking! I am happy most days! I have many people who I never thought would love me that love me dearly. I would like to thank those people who love me despite all the mess ups I have made! Today I was told by someone who I pay there way, that I should not invest 20.00 dollars in something That I like! Humbug! I hurt every day My bones ar worn. But I keep going, because I love! I love people who don't even know it I love people I can not even say why! But Love is my very source by witch things are survivable! When I was just 15 years younger I was An awesome force to be reckoned with. These days I would not be able to build things I used to! but I can still build love!
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 Prose A poem call it what you please. I call it "The Glue Of Life!"
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 The wind after the loving is as mussed up as the leaves are after wind in Autumn!
But between the very small spaces there bits and pieces of love,
A love as pure as the love a mother has for her child!
It is here in the small spaces where light lives and shines,
In A way unprecedented, uncompromisable, A way that is so wanted by so many.
The search for true love acceptance and undeniable want or desire,
It seems is right there everywhere we look, only we refuse to see it!
O'love giveith us the slightest evidence    of your binding essence.
We hunger for the glow of what surrounds us only we comprehend so little!
When our love can't fix the broken, and it can't even help those who are hurting!
I don't mean this physical pain we are forced to live with, but the pain on one's heart, The broken feelings. The very idea that we are of no use or not worthy! Now o' People of this 2015 I speak not for myself! Somehow by the Grace of my God and his son Jesus, I have none of these things worring me! But around me I see people going where I have been doing what I have already done! Walking in those dark lonely valleys of Death! As God would have it I had my staph with me in those dark places! I was stronger than most maybe!
 These people there now know all you need do is keep your heads up. there is light even though you can't see it! Be encouraged! And I hear you right now saying you don't even know! Believe me I know I've walked through woods so dark I coyuld nt see the moon on a moon lit night! Stars what were they! All I can say is if you keep walking never giving in to the darkness then you'll come out better and wiser that when you walked in! So May your higer power hold you up when your falling! May food fall from the sky when your hungry! May the light shine on you again some day!
 And remember I may not know you but I love you! I love the idea that you will keep going! I love the idea that we are going to meet some time in the future!
                                                                                       1/6//2015
                                                                                              R. D. Ruffin
                                   Written by and all .............................................. Copyright       R.. D.. Ruffin

Good morning 4/21/2014

Good morning people going to plant a blue berry bush and squash and okra to day from seeds I harvested form my garden last year! Man I love spring in North Carolina! What a wonderful day this is going to be! Positive first thing! Wonder what is in store for me and you today! Hope happiness is everywhere as far as you can see! Love is all around you just open your eyes and see what there is to love!
Beauty in everything even in the pollen which is killing a lot of us cause we don't play outside enough! Going to plant a blue berry bush today with my son1 A food source for many generations to come I hope! Yum a seed to ten meals on my plate! God is good all the time!
 I will post pics of the starting of the garden soon and we will see how much food I can grow in a small space! Plenty I takes 36 sq foot to plant approx 20 to 50 plants! these will feed me for the next 4 months! I love my garden!

Real as it Gets

I sit here and think about something that I did last night and how I am at times I am the most native man that ever lived. I am so self centered that I at times I do not even consider that life is not just what I make it but it is what the whole of everything accumulates to, the grand sum of all things compiled.
I hurt you I saw it for the very first time in 18 years last night. I was also more open to you last night than I have ever been. You have manged to crush and destroy every wall I had to protect myself. It took a long time (18 years) to completely bring me to an open arms point of view. I am sorry and I will start from today forward to be a better man. You made me want to be the man I used to be. And that has not happened in the longest time. I can illusion so much, I have a enormous ability to love and also to fool myself. I have no illusions about what I am and I can be to you so I am not fooling myself at all. But still I want to be good at what I am.
Here's to the most wonderful friendship I have ever had!
 And now 6 months later I know that You are strong and can handle life. You never had it easy and I truly know how it feels to have one child and you to provide everything for! all alone!

New Poem

Oh that light through bathroom there with the lens implant glare,
Cause my poor head to blare with blase n pounding inside my aware.
Oh woman who cause pain, how doth tyranny survive,
With beholding compassion happiness and affection yon tide do est arise.
Suffocation as if the bamboo grew, in that place where it is dark,
Those echo's of ear ho-lowed hall becomes a sense of destiny's fall eventually succumbs.
How you say should I be-swayed To dare to write in forgotten way's,
Because how those word's of od days gone past, remiss of a time Where passions last,
Where upon the heart of another all pleasures we are allowed to cast,
We should render with all our minds, the fact disappointment finds era us all in time.
Grand youth is well armed, and as if those fields should be well farmed.
So all kisses are stolen and Because the watchful mother is as the Lion.
The carpenter will built a house seemingly well built to live within,
Yea on the horizon a storm resides, making turbulent and less transparent oh yonder tide!

Copyright property
of
Robin D. Ruffin

Working on The Career Path!

Philosophically thinking, it is amazing how input receives some output. What you put into your brain you get similar out put. Beautiful images induce euphoric feelings and Illusions of grandeur, meanness produces bad physical manifestations. Of cource who would subject themselves to punishment intentionally. I was reading about Claude Monet earlyer and he wrote "I am not a beginner any more, and it is dreadful to be in such a position at my age, forever begging and pestering buyers"! Were talking Monet one of the most highly recognized artist in history. Just saying. So I have many things to be thankful for love, security, the desire to paint. All this culminates in the potential to make art! Pain is a factor and happiness at can escape one. And eventually may lead me in to some accomplishments! Here's to an extended residency of my good friend happiness!
Today is a good day so far. I've been looking at all these unfinished incomplete or unaccomplished pieces of art I have, and thinking. Now might be a good time to begin to try and finish some of these projects. Dissatisfaction with one's own progress is a hard thing to finish. There must be 100 pieces in the works and It is over whelming to consider how much time went in to those stacks of pieces of unfinished works of art! I believe that I have a major amount of work ahead of myself, for sure if I am to hope to decrease that number
Some times revelation must be some kind of transition, from, maybe in my case, procrastination and depression possibly laziness. To a new point of view, hopefully a much more productive one. One where I focus on the greater number of those unfinished works being complete So pursuit of a greater Career push. Maybe I can Have some new work to show you very soon. Here's hoping that you are truly Blessed and High favored by our Lord and Savior!

Joy + Happiness = Today

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
— Albert Einstein

Joy is a great feeling. Don't you agree. Happiness or Joy is always just ahead of you. I am engrossed in the illusion that Joy will find me today, that I will be consumed and surrounded by unsurpassed Joy. It is a glorious feeling internally, When one allows him or her self to be enveloped by anything good. Those positive vibrations elevate me to a higher plane. Systematically elevating any need for protagonist position. I still find myself always having to stay flat emotions in full check. It matters not the occurrence of events, just an ability to perform under tremendous pressure of any kind, at any time, wherever, who ever, how ever. These are skills I have obtained in recent years. I never had then before lately. I was quick to anger and could be antagonized in to a heated attitude rapidly. But as a singer once said so elegantly, and it is the same thing, it's 5 o'clock somewhere. I think that we should live our whole life that way. As if we had just got of work took off our tie, or let down our hair. It's time to be relaxed. See I'm happy already!
So in the words of Jimmy Buffet, "Work day passes like molasses in wintertime. so pour me something tall and strong, Make it a hurricane before I go insane"!

I was going to complain about how hot it is... then I realized that:
1.) it isn't 120 degrees;
2.) I'm not 5,700 miles from home;
3.) I'm not dressed in a full BDU uniform and helmet and carrying 70+ lbs.; and
4.) there is very little chance that anyone will shoot at me or that I might drive over a bomb in the road today!
Thanks to all who serve! Re-Post if you agree.

Read this to day made me think how lucky I am to be alive and loved by many. I don't even know if I did anything to deserve this love. I show love but these days I feel loved.
I am enthusiastic and I feel an immediacy of need to create something that is majestic and and springs up to life. I have so much I wanted to try in the field of art to carve marble, already have the tools. Wanted to Make sculpture from things lying around. Ultimately I guess I have started to restore my standing in society.
I have always been a recluse, as are most artist's. But I'm never alone. The select few who enter my world must accomplish gaining my trust and that's arduousness in even the tiniest way . I try to be excessively generous. Some times to the point of doing to much.
I have begun to realize that even a second is special, every moment is fleeting at best and all we can hope to do is to be aware and actually live within that very moment right then as it's happening. Not off some where, being philosophical about preference, or living in the past , or the future.
People with there "He said, she said" drama are so wasting the very air their breathing! Never take any thing for granted. When your life seems full of dissatisfaction try to remember when you did not want or need as much as you have accumulated or think you need now.
We all can remissness about a time when we still had youth and great potential. Does any one remmember when bean bag chairs were all you had to sit on. People have so imploded on themselves that I can't even accept, how someone could pay 10,000 dollars for a sofa.
But what do I know there are transitions that take one places! So I guess what I really what to say is that i hope all your transactions take you to happiness.
Been gone a few days will try to get back on track. Till tomorrow then.

Sunday

Since it's Sunday the Lords I will be back tomorrow. Remember God loves you!

Just some Thoughts

I have my best friend to thank for this She inspires me. She knows it and does it when it suits her. Thing is this person while still being loved by myself, Grew emotionally mature Faster than I did, I now realize that she can never reach the heights that I have. Having said that here are a few thoughts!
To hurt, to be happy, to be sad. To know someone thinks less of you, even though She knows not who you are. These things bring fear and desire at the same time. To know that feeling is fear and desire mixed is a blessing. With that knowledge kept only to my self. I am ready to launch into an unknown universe. Beginning with this key board. I have been writing for years and have just sprung into action from no where. How can mere words impress to you these feeling I am having and how I got them and where they come from. That my dear friends is the task I have been dealt. So now we continue, with the rants of an Artist.
Alive is a great thing. Breathing lets us know that were not dead. Skilled as I know I can be, still I must do this writing thing and do it well.
Thank you for helping me find the courage to attempt to write my first short story and a novel. So as it now seems i will be at the keyboard trying to improve my skill set and advance to a new field. Should I fall pick me up so I can once again design, compile, and imagine enough that you will be held captivated.

poem from myspace blog

You are the reason I live,

My love is yours and yours only,

No one can take this from you,

Even if we have to say goodbye,

Your love I will carry inside,

My art will reflect the love i feel,

And with my last breath I will seal the deal.

Copyright*2007 R. D. Ruffin